Caution: Read this with a heaping helping of extra grace. I'm just starting to practice the whole writing for public consumption thing and I'm sure my writing still leaves much to be desired. Carry on.
So… what would possess a career driven, able-bodied, 33 year
old single woman to take a 4 month unpaid sabbatical?* This had to be rolling around in the heads of
my friends and family when I announced my decision to press pause on my career
for a few months.
Its no secret that I was extremely burned out. For those of you who travel for work, I’ll
say it in our language, I was Premier 1K with United by September 1st
this year. And have been 1K and Platinum
the two years before that. And that is
all with strictly domestic travel.
The problem has never been that I hated my job, in fact, I
was so passionate about the product I represent and how great it is for
patients that I would do anything, anytime, anywhere to support its proper use
and advancement. And not to mention, it
made me feel important. (Its not like
its brain surgery or anything, oh wait, yeah it is.) And with a dwindling handful of experts from
the original startup, my ego was stroked regularly as I was identified as being
indispensable. That’s the goal right?
Being indespensible. Or is it?
Earlier this year, while I was starting to develop chaffing
from all the pats on the back I was getting, I had a moment where I was so
spent that as I was driving down the road, I had this thought that “I just need
this to stop, I just need to make this stop”.
If that’s not a sign of burnout, I don’t know what is. I felt like I was on a cross between a
hamster wheel and a rat maze.
Regardless, this particular rodent felt nothing like Mighty Mouse and I
was completely out of control of my situation.
This was very much a “Jesus Take The Wheel” type moment.
As much as I love and get an incredible amount of
fulfillment from my job, it doesn’t take an expert to figure out that virtually
every other area of my life had taken a hit for my work. I was only able to shoehorn in enough time to
maintain relationship with about two of my non-work friends and lets not even
talk about the heights from which my physical fitness and nutrition had
fallen. (Timehop, you are an accuser of
the bretheren and I rebuke you and your pictures of me at Crossfit competitions
in 2012).
As far as service goes, the most I could manage during this
time is about 8 hours a month split between two of my favorite ministries and
even those I forgot about several times or begged off because I was exhausted
from a flight that morning.
But that’s probably enough in the “Rationale/Complaining/#DearLordDoesSheEverShutUp
section.
On the flip side of all this exhaustion, I have so many
other things I want to do with my life, so many other passions. I LOVE writing (oh, you guessed that one did
you? Gold Star.), being in community with other people (Christianese for “I
like to have people all up in my life and business), the challenge that comes
from pushing yourself to high levels of physical fitness, leisurely drinking my
coffee in the morning, oh and Paleo cooking.
I LOVE to eat, I mean cook! (stay tuned for paleo recipes and food pics) :)
So that’s it. After
much prayer and some pretty clear confirmation, I decided to use some of the
money I’d saved to take 4 months off instead of putting it towards buying more
things that I would not have time to enjoy anyway. I decided to reverse the normal transaction
and exchange some money to get my time back.
I’ll report back periodically to discuss the challenges, successes and
tips I stumble upon, but one week in, I think it’s the best purchase I’ve ever
made in my life.
-Renee
“Look I am about to
do something new; even now it is coming.
Do you not see it? Indeed, I will
make a way in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43: 19
*my employer has requested I refer to it as “personal leave”
Post-workout breakfast this AM, delicious Central Market peppered uncured nitrite free bacon, eggs fried in fat of aforementioned bacon, and sweet potato mash w/salt, pepper, garlic powder, and green onions. Oh, and that delectable Taste of San Antonio coffee from the HEB with almond milk and honey.
